Living with Mental Illness

By Melissa King, Board Member of CMH for Central Michigan

LIVING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS: I grew up with mental illness.  I was surrounded by many people who were living with a mental illness, and I did not know what I could do to help my family, friends or parents.  I did not know what to do, and sometimes blamed myself.  I thought I must have done something wrong, or it was my fault – I deserved this.

Now, over the last 10-12 years, I have learned it was NOT my fault.  No, I didn’t deserve it.  I had a lot of trauma and as a result I have been living with severe depression, anxiety and PTSD.  At one point I even tried to commit suicide.  I have focused my pain into positivity, and I take a leadership role advocating and supporting others who are going through their own mental health struggles.

HOW HAVE I EXPERIENCED STIGMA: I have been called crazy; had people say, “Oh, don’t talk to her.  I hear her whole family is crazy” as well as “Don’t tell me she’s your friend?”, and many other very hurtful things – some I can’t even repeat.

HOW DO I SEE STIGMA HURTING PEOPLE: Words hurt no matter what age you are.  I can share an example with you where I didn’t understand what was happening and I thought someone was “crazy” and I wish I would have known then what I know now.  My Dad was a Vietnam War Vet, and he was apparently suffering from PTSD – but all I knew was that every time there was loud noise or plane going overhead the entire family had to duck and cover.  It did not matter if we were at home, at the beach, in the grocery store, we had to do it until he gave the ‘all clear’.  I wish Dad felt that he could have gotten help so he and my family would not have had to live like that.  I know my Dad DID NOT seek help because of stigma – he could not be seen or see himself as someone with a problem that he needed others to help him solve.

WHAT HAVE YOU PARTICIPATED IN TO PROMOTE RECOVERY? I have been receiving outpatient therapy, case management and attending New Journey Clubhouse for the past 14 years and my life has totally changed.  I went from not being able to look up at someone to joining first one committee then, over the last 3-4 years, I have become involved in 4-6 committees, and I attend 3-4 conferences a year – I even went to an international training for my Clubhouse in Salt Lake City, Utah.  I am so proud of what I have become.  Now I stand up for myself and others in this fight for recovery.  I do not let my illness take me over – I find ways for it to build me up.  You got this, I got this, and together we got this.  We all have a voice so let’s all use it to fight stigma and help people get the services they need, together we can keep fighting.

Thank you.