Beautiful Minds
By John Michael Weerstra, Board Member of OnPoint (formerly Allegan Community Mental Health)
Hi, my name is John Michael Weerstra.
I would like to introduce myself to you as a graduate from the “Community Mental Health” system. This journey was a long and hard road for me as well for all my loved ones and family.
It all began when I was 18 years old for that’s when I first started hearing voices in my head. This condition continued to increase, and I had a hard time building any long-lasting relationships. I had tried to run away from everything and anyone that I thought caused these voices and this made intimacy very hard to cope with.
I was finally hospitalized when I was 20 years old, for depression, but it took me till I was 21 before I could tell anyone that I heard voices. It was then that they diagnosed me as Schizophrenic and started treating me for that illness. They put me into group homes and for several years I was in and out of those as well as several hospitals. Between Newaygo and Muskegon counties I was given 96 ECT treatments. To this day I still have problems in remembering birthdays of family members due to these treatments. I was told by Mental Health Counselors that they considered me to be a lost cause and that I would remain in the Mental Health System for the rest of my life.
When I was 29, the Court ordered me to live in a group home for one year. During that year I saw a movie called “Beautiful Minds”. After seeing that movie, I decided to not let my illness control me anymore and I needed to control my illness. This was the turning point in my life and from that point on I was determined to overcome my diagnosis. I started attending every class and therapy session available to me. It was at that time that I started to communicate with my doctors and ask more questions about my treatments for my Schizophrenic and alcoholic problems. This allowed my doctor to change my diagnosis to schizoaffective disorder. At the end of the year, I moved into an apartment by myself.
When I was 35 years old, I had a manic episode that made me run away from my problems to Kentucky and I lived there for 18 months. Kentucky’s Mental Health System is controlled basically by the pharmaceutical companies, and they tried to introduce many different types of drugs that sent me into “la la land”. This complicated everything. At 37 I moved across the border into Tennessee. In this state, the Mental Health System is a privately run system. The state only treated insured patients but because I had Medicare, they covered my treatments and prescriptions.
Feeling discouraged, homesick, and recognizing that my mental health was getting worse I decided to take the last money I had and jump on a bus to get back to Muskegon, Michigan, where I knew I could get better help. It wasn’t easy for me because I was without money, food, and transportation. I had to rely on the City Mission for food and a place to sleep but still had to walk the city streets in the cold without proper clothes. This was the lowest time in my life, and I began to seek out God for help. I got reconnected with my old case worker, Larry Wheeler, who believed in me, and he was able to get me into another group home. In this group home I met James Culp, and together we were able to save enough money to purchase an old truck and rent a place to have some independence.
With the help of some very good counselors, and my parents, I have been able to move through the system to control my schizophrenia and live a life of independence and freedom. Through budgeting, I have been able to purchase my own home and good transportation. Currently I am a member on the Board for the OnPoint (Allegan Community Mental Health) as a representative for the Consumer advocate. I have been on the board for “Horizon Circle of Friends” – a support group to help consumers in the CMH system. I now have the desire to give back to the CMH system by helping other consumer patients as they struggle with their mental and physical health. With God’s help I am making plans to become a “Peer Support Specialist” so I can give back to the system that helped me.