A Long Road to Recovery from Schizophrenia and Depression

By Betty S. Ruoss, Advocate, Author and Member of Easterseals Michigan

I first experienced symptoms of schizophrenia in 1976 when I was employed with a Fortune 500 Company. I had just been promoted from my administrative assistant job to a marketing position. I had to move my entire household along with my two dogs, from New York to Michigan to take this job in just one months’ time.

When I arrived in Michigan it was difficult to find an apartment that would take my two Samoyed dogs. Also, I had to train for my new job, learn a new town and people all during the same time I was trying to get settled. Much of my training was on location, but I also had to travel out of state. I stayed stressed out all the time and I wasn’t getting the proper rest. My personality began to change. I became paranoid and also began hearing faint sounds of voices in my head. I didn’t know what was happening to me, because mental illness is something that had never crossed my mind, plus I had never heard of schizophrenia, and I was not treated for it until two years later.
I eventually found a place for me and my two dogs to live, but things didn’t get any better with my life, and my mental state got worse. As time went by the voices, I heard in my head became clearer and louder. I became more paranoid. I began to think my co-workers were whispering behind my back. I thought they were judging to see how well I did my job. I felt they could hear my thoughts by reading my mind. I also felt that I could read their minds. The voices continued talking to me and telling me what things the people were saying about me. I wasn’t myself at all. My manager noticed my peculiar behavior and recommended that I take a few days off from work. I did take time off, but it didn’t help at all.

I continued to be delusional and have hallucination symptoms for two years before seeing a psychiatrist. When I began receiving treatment from Dr. Chapman in 1978 his diagnosis was paranoid schizophrenia. I spent two weeks in the hospital on the psychiatric ward. This was my first hospitalization. While there I was prescribed Valium which was not effective. I was released from the hospital still hearing voices and feeling paranoid. My psychiatrist then prescribed Thorazine, an antipsychotic medication which didn’t help either. He finally tried Stelazine, another antipsychotic medication which also didn’t relieve my symptoms. Back then (1978) there weren’t many psychotropic medications to take. I continued to take the Thorazine for a while, but later discontinued it on my own because of the side effects from it.

I saw Dr. Chapman for psychotherapy visits until he retired and closed his practice in 1983. He recommended other psychiatrists for me to see, but I never contacted any of them. I thought I would be fine without further treatment. I wasn’t on any psychotropic medications for years from then on until 1995. My life wasn’t easy. It was in complete shambles. I began to isolate myself from others. I didn’t answer the phone when it rang, and I didn’t open my door for visitors. I just wanted to be alone. I could no longer hold my job, lost land and property, had three evictions, was homeless three times and was incarcerated once.

Because of my illness I’ve had many losses. The biggest loss was in 1995. I was still not taking any meds which resulted in a severe psychotic episode involving a police officer and a gun. The police officer shot at me striking me in the left eye and blinding me. After the shooting the officer drove me to the hospital for treatment for my eye. After being admitted there for two weeks, I was taken to jail where I was incarcerated for two months. The Court found me not guilty by reason of insanity (NGRI), but I was sentenced to a psychiatric facility. I spent a total of five consecutive years (1995-2000) between Clinton Valley Psychiatric Hospital, Northville Psychiatric Hospital, and the Forensic Center. While in these hospitals I was placed on Haldol, Seroquel, and Zyprexa antipsychotic medications. None of these medications helped my paranoia, delusional thinking or stopped me from hearing voices. Plus, I experienced side effects from them. Seroquel kept me sedated and like a zombie. Haldol kept me anxious, and Zyprexa caused me to be borderline diabetic, but I continued on the Seroquel after being released.

In 2000, I was discharged from Northville Psychiatric Hospital and moved to a group home. This is when I became aware of Easterseals. An Easterseals case manager was at the home to meet me as soon as I arrived there. Easterseals has been a great help to me.

I have had four other hospitalizations after leaving the Group Home in 2002 while living independently again. These hospital stays were from two weeks to two months. I was released from these hospitals but with no positive results. I was still hearing voices, paranoid, delusional, depressed and still experiencing side effects from my medications.

Medication has been a journey for me, I have been prescribed many different kinds of psychotropic meds including Geodon, Depakene and Olazapine, but it was never the right kind, and they didn’t work.

It wasn’t until a 2010 hospitalization that doctors were finally able to help me. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and chronic depression. I was placed on a combination of Venlafaxine, Risperdal and Trazodone which were effective and produced no side effects.

Today as a result, I have no paranoid thinking, no hallucinations, and no delusional thoughts. I feel better than ever before. By the grace of God, and the right kinds of psychotropic medications and therapy my condition is now in remission.

I’d like to offer some advice. If you are reading this and struggle with schizophrenia, remember it can be treated just like any other disease. Always take you meds. Medication is getting better and more specific now, but medication can take time to work. Be patient. If you have any side effects, tell your doctor so that he can change your meds or make an adjustment.

Since my recovery, I have gained an interest in mental health and devote much of my time to advocating for the disabled. I communicate with our elected officials, namely the Governor, Senators and State Representatives on issues related to mental health. I was an Oakland County Constituent at the Tri-County Public Mental Health Legislative Luncheon in Lansing April 2019, where I told my story. I am a member of several workgroups and committees through Oakland Community Health Network (OCHN). In 2017 I was presented the Dan Moran Award for Inclusion and Advocacy by OCHN, I have attended the yearly State Recipient Rights Conference since 2015 and was one of the presenters in the OCHN Go Rights Conference in 2019. I’ve also attended the 11th Annual Anti-Stigma Conference in Lansing 2019; and attended many Walk-A-Mile in My Shoes rallies at the State Capitol. In the 2018 rally I helped to carry the Oakland County Flag and was part of the Program held there. I am also a long-time member of Easterseals Dreams Unlimited Clubhouse.

In June 2018, I wrote an article entitled, From Failing Meds to the Ones That Worked by Betty S. Ruoss for the Schizophrenia Bulletin. This article is on the website www.schizophreniabulletin.com, under First Person Account 2018. The article was republished March 2019 in The Journal of Psychoses and Related Disorders Volume 45, by the University of Maryland School of Medicine, Maryland Psychiatric Research Center and will be used in research to help in educating and understanding the disorder of schizophrenia and depression.

My book, Betty’s Battle, A True Story of Schizophrenia and Depression by B. S. Ruoss was published in October 2018. I recently published my second book (March 2020) titled, The Subject of Schizophrenia, All You Want to Know About the Illness by B. S. Ruoss. The website is http://www.thesubjectofschizophrenia.com. Both books, Betty’s Battle and The Subject of Schizophrenia, are on most bookstore websites, also on amazon.com, ebay.com and e-book.